Let's Talk About Sex....

** Don't worry this is not inappropriate.

I had the amazing opportunity to work with the incredibly talented group of individuals from CDNA Community Development Network of the Americas helping them to translate to my fifth and sixth graders information about sexual education and first aid skills. To say it went swimmingly well was an understatement.

 Amanda the Founder of the organization is a pretty miraculous lady she is studied abroad in Chitre Panama when she was in college, which is where she began to see the need for sex education in Panama and then she came back after she finished her degree to start this awesome organization. She typically invites a small group of medical professionals from the U.S. to come for a few weeks every summer to give charlas (talks/sessions) in schools around Panama and Costa Rica as long as the school permits them to. The minestry of education sent someone to my school in Las Minas but by some miracle Amanda's husband happened to be cousins to the MEDUCA rep that they sent down so they let us continue with our talk and gave glowing recommendations. 

In Panama they don't allow sex ed to be taught in schools, they will typically hold classes for parents of students if they are interested in coming, however they are hardly in depth and are rarely well attended. Basically, what Amanda has done is AMAZING and super radical in conservative Panama, but that kinda makes it all the better. 

We covered emergency first aid techniques like the heimlich manuver and what to do if someone is bleeding from some appendage and about to die, which was necessary and helpful but it got SUPER interesting when we started delving into sex! Most of the students had never been spoken to about sex or anything even touching the subject, so you can imagine they sorts of questions we got during the Q&A portion. The most outlandish that we received was probably when one of the students asked if you could get STD's from having sex with animals..... Wellllll that was interesting, goes to prove that I live in the campo. 

Some of the photos we got were PRICELESS and the students clearly loved the talks and getting to ask questions since we got bundles of them. The next day a bunch of students came up to me asking when the group was coming back,just proof that these kids need and WANT to learn about this stuff, it is imperative that Amanda continues doing what she is doing down here otherwise these kids will never get the information they need. 

My kids and our group... I am the ghost on the right hand side being blocked out by the light 

Seth, Amanda and Daniel answering some more questions 

Amanda being awesome 

One of my students saving Sierra's life with CPR

One of the many fascinating questions we got from my students.... soooo likeeee how can I answer this one..... 

Seth and Amanda being awesome 

My favorite photo: this is the reaction we got from students as Amanda and Daniel demonstrated the proper technique of putting on a condom.... PRICELESS

Six Months in Panama.... sweet jesus

August 20, 2013

We are officially at the six month point. That is six months in Panama. Wild. I can honestly say that it is beginning to show; the honeymoon stage has certainly worn off. Being surrounded by bugs all day and enjoying the life in nature is no longer as mystical and magical as it seemed when we were all living in Santa Rita de Chorrera in our training sites. To be honest if I could live somewhere that bugs didn't exist,  I might be the happiest person in the world... considering moving to Antarctica (sorry mom and dad).

Also  I think all the snide remarks and shocked looks in regards to my legs are finally starting to catch up and affect my self-esteem. I swear if one person looks at my legs and gives me that condescending look whilst saying "AY DIOS tus piernas! Que feas" (OH GOD your legs, how ugly) ONE MORE TIME I WILL SMACK SOMEONE! Really though, they don´t bother me so much, but the fact that it seems to bother everyone around me in turn makes it bother me. I means LAWD they are bug bites... not the plague there is not a whole lot I can do about it... My blood is just sweeter than yours :P 

Also I am realizing that I have to give away my puppy, which just makes me sad in every way. I don´t want to give him away but I don´t have even close to the funds to be able to keep him. Especially when I have to leave for training sessions that last 2-3 weeks and have to pay my sister $2.50 a day to watch him in addition to buying food which is another $10 a week. It doesn´t seem so much but when you get paid less than Panama´s minimum wage ($400 a month is the minimum wage here) then when you add up puppy costs and rent and food and the fact that your puppy will soon be as big as a horse and even more expensive.... it just isn´t going to work. I sad. It feels like giving up a child, also I am kinda angry with myself since I have already put hundreds towards him, but such is life. At least I know that I have treated him better than the majority of Panamanians would treat their animals.


*** SIDE NOTE for those who are reading this and are prospective PCV´s SAVE YOUR MONEY and bring some (LOTS OF)  money from home!!! Especially if you are planning on adventuring at all or living your life in Panam to the max, it is so necessary. Don´t get me wrong you can most certainly live on the PC stipend but if you ever told people here what you were making their jaws would drop because in fact you are living below poverty.


Anyways.... so basically life is hard here and it is just going to get harder, but on the other side time moves so quickly here that I honestly can´t believe I have been here for 6 months already and that I only have 21 months to go. Though when I put it that way it seems like a lot but it isn't really considering I don't know if my teachers will ever get off strike so who knows if I will actually accomplish anything in the schools and that we have month long breaks at times due to training sessions and such. Meh 

Sorry if I seem a bit jaded, but there are some awesome things going on as well. I have started guitar lessons which are going really well I have about 5 students who come regularly to learn new things and I am trying my best to teach them, though I am no expert myself. I have also started mandatory academic support sessions at the elementary school for those students who are failing English, in the hope that they will be able to at least pass English or maybe just find it interesting.... we shall see. 

Aside from being moody and grumpy I do have some good days, I have been spending more time with my host family, so that has been nice. I think that things are going better now because I am giving away my puppy and there will no longer be that awkwardness of having to ask them to watch him every time I leave site. Also the fact that I started crying when I told them that I have to give him away might have helped show them that I actually do care about him and am not the neglectful owner that they have thought I was. OO and I am applying for a position as a facilitator with the Gender and Development camp so hopefully I will get on board with that since that is one of the things I want to get really involved in while I'm here. 

I think that is enough ranting for now.... 

Photos from English Week Primaria

Just a little bit of background because I don't think that I wrote a post about it. English week's 

a big deal here in Panama. It is probably a bigger deal than most anything else in the school year. Each class has a battle of the classes with English competitions and other sorts of contests and then a Rey (King) and Reina (Queen) are chosen from each class to represent the grades and then those two compete to win the title of Rey and Reina of all of English Week!! These aren't all of the photos but they are a good majority of them. Aren't they cute!! 

Cute Armored Creatures

August 5, 2013

My neighbor caught an armadillo today and is going to be selling it for $6 dollars.... I want it... 

However, I do feel that I shouldn't want it so much since it is a wild animal and should be left to the wild where it belongs. BUT it is just so cute I actually have the pictures on here so I can show you, and I suppose I'll post some other pictures of creepy crawlies that I just happen to have on me. 

That was really all I had to say about that, but isn't that cool‽‽ I didn't even know that armadillos were common within these parts. 

Here are some photos of the armadillo and other creepy crawlies near my house. I saw a spider the other day the size of my face but couldn't get a good picture of it, though I wish I had because it was horrifying. 

Happy Birthday to ME!

July 23, 2013 

I am finally moved into my new house and let me tell YOU it is awesome. Today I did not eat a single fried thing nor was my food covered in salt or mayo, nor did it resemble a hot dog or a slice of fried spam. I could not be happier. Because of my lovely tick infestation in my room I was given permission to move into my new house early, well that and because my host mother kindly and a bit awkwardly asked me if I could move out early.... I am still not entirely sure why she said something about it getting cramped especially when other family members come to visit, and it would give me my own privacy and blah blah blah... I won't take offense as I have been counting down the days until move out since I got here, but all the same it was a bit of an awkward interaction. Also getting to have my own house as a birthday present is a pretty rad gift, so I can't complain.

 This weekend was awesome a bunch of my friends from other provinces came down to the Azuero to celebrate with me and rage the way only Peace Corps Volunteers can do. Las Tablas was having a huge celebration of miracles where people from all over the province walk all day to the church in Las Tablas in order to pay tribute to God, and in turn he will perform a miracle for them or something like that. I however, did not really want to walk to a city in another province that is an hour and twenty minutes via bus soooooo I took the bus, I guess I won't get any miracles. However, a bunch of us did end up going to celebration afterwards for the discotecas, I was taken aback, even at 10:30 when we left there were people walking to the city. When we got there the place was packed with people on every street trying to get into the church while others were trying to leave, it was insanity, we had to push through the sea of Christians to get to the club, but it was worth it! The club was awesome we danced until the early morning, it was just nice to get out and move around and see everyone in one place. 

This weekend was also the Despedida of our Regional Leader, aka her going away party. It is weird to be on totally opposite ends of the spectrum, myself just beginning my service while our RL is getting ready to go back to the U.S. after working in Panama for three years! It's wild... it does put things into perspective as to how fast things go by. She said she finally feels ready to leave after being here for so long but right now I can't even imagine leaving my friends and the student's that I am forming such close bonds with... so strange. 

The Most Unwelcome Guests

July 15, 2013

Most of you who have seen my facebook already know about this little story but for those who have not I might as well explain what happened. This weekend I stayed in site because I wanted to spend some time with the host family and a bunch of my host aunts and uncles and cousins were coming to visit. In addition to all of these family members, I also had the pleasure of hosting some fabulously unwelcome guests in my room. The first night I walked into my room and saw some weird splatter looking marks on my wall, upon a closer glance I noticed it wasn't the paint peeling like I had thought but in fact thousands upon thousands of chiggers (small red ticks that can hardly be seen). Then I started examining my bed and naturally of course it was full of these nasty blood sucking little monsters. I quickly took some gorilla tape and tried to trap as many of them as I could. It was beyond foul but strangely a little rewarding to look on the backside of the tape and gleam with pride at the number of buggers I had trapped and then to make three-point shots of tape basketballs into my trashcan. I thought I had gotten them all but right before going to bed I looked to my  bed with disgust and noticed that once again my bed was full of chiggers.... I didn't even let my pup sleep in the bed with me since the last time but even though he had been sleeping on the floor, my bed was pressed against the wall so as the chiggers fell off my pup they climbed their way up the walls and then promptly made themselves comfortable in my bed.... I guess I will be doing another thorough cleaning as well as leaving my dog outside for the rest of his natural life- no matter how much it breaks my heart to see him with those precious puppy dog eyes. In addition to waking up the next morning with chiggers all over my body I also received a prompt scolding from my family for letting my dog sleep in my bed with me.... but. but. he's so cuteeeee..... never again. Pulling bugs off of literally every part of my body is not how I enjoy spending my mornings. 

The following night my room was host to a much more unwelcome guest. Right before dinner I decided to change into my PJ's and spray on another layer of bug repellent when my host sister walked in to tell me something and promptly pulled  me out of the room and pointed behind me next to my bed and there just hanging out was an adorable little snake, minus the little and the adorable part. I ran out of my room and told my host mom about my little friend and she ran into the room and then pushed me back and told me to run to my neighbor's house to grab his machete to come and kill it. It was confirmed by my host mother, whose opinion I trust in matters of campo life that the snake was in fact poisonous and it was "bravo" meaning it was bold but really what it meant to me was holy crap this thing is trying to bite me... luckily for me though my neighbor came over and quickly hacked the thing in a million pieces, then proceeded to hang it from a tree near the street. Apparently they do that here to warn everyone else in the area that there are poisonous snakes around. I still don't know how the thing got into my room though... my door was shut the whole day but since I just have cement blocks for windows without any screens or anything I suppose it could have weaseled its way in that way. I am fine though and so is everyone else... thank GOD my host sister saw it before I went to sleep or it could have slithered its way into my ear or something, or killed the pup.... just another pleasant reminder that I am in fact living in the jungle and not enjoying the safety and security of life back in the states. Also I am going to be a lot more vigilant about making sure there are no monsters under my bed before going to sleep.... 

Happy Birthday USA!!

July 6, 2013

 There is nothing like spending your country's Independence Day abroad to remind you that in fact you are not in your home country. Since we received a friendly reminder from the PC office that we really, truly should not be leaving site for the first three months none of us made any plans to take off work for the Fourth of July to meet up with our other volunteer friends at beach for some fun in the sun; instead we waited until Friday to leave and headed off to the lovely Coclé province to our fave spot of Santa Clara to enjoy some American past times and celebrate our nation's birthday. Even though I couldn't be with my fellow gringo's on this day I did get to appreciate a lovely (though short) firework display in the provincial capitol, thanks to some enthusiastic Ex-Pat's. It is coming up on six months in site and the time has literally flown by, I can't believe I have been here for nearly half a year....strange.

 The home sickness comes and goes, but for the most part I am too distracted to miss home; although I have been having dreams about certain restaurants from home... probably because my body is craving anything that isn't beans and rice or deep fried and over salted. MAN JUST GIVE ME SOME RAW VEGGIES PLEASEEEE. Of course I miss my friend's and family too but I can talk to them nearly any time I want but what I can't do is tell my host family to stop feeding me so that I just make a salad or something, I mean I don't want to be rude or anything. I will just continue to count down the days until I get to move in to my own house and can live off of carrots and cucumbers for the next two years. I just have a few more weeks to go before I get to move in but honestly it can't come soon enough, I ran out of hot sauce so I have been trying to gag down the spam with as much lemon juice as I can without using up all the lemons on the lemon tree, it actually isn't so bad that way but I'd still rather eat anything else in the world than eat another piece of fried spam. 

LIkeeee the Peace Corps Equivalent of Bubble Wrap....

*****If you are at all queasy or have a sensitive stomach ya might not want to read this post. 

July 2, 2013

Ugh. Once again I wake up to bugs in my bed.... I think this is officially a sign that my puppy should not be sleeping with me no matter how cute it is when he cuddles up on top of my face. So the story is; I woke up in the middle of the night because I felt a bunch of small pinches all over my body and I thought it was just a bit strange since I sleep with a mosquito net.... so the idea of one bug biting me was pretty normal but all over was something entirely different. Early yesterday I had given Boludo a bath with some anti-tick and flea soap- well, it worked. However, it did not work in the way that I had hoped it would, I thought that the soap would kill all the little blood suckers, instead they all just fell off in my bed, very much alive. It was about 3:30 when I woke up to thousands of ticks in my bed ,and I normally get up at around 4:30 to walk with the pup before the sun comes up.... so what did I do? I decided to spend the next hour killing every last one of those little nuisances. They were too small to kill by pinching them so I just smushed each with one, with a satisfying *POP*. I mean, I know it is super gross and it caused a bloody mess of a massacre in my bed but it was ever so gratifying to kill every last one of those little shits. Granted when I came back from my walk there were thousands more so I don't know how effective my killing spree was but at least I killed a bunch of them right? ... whoops? So looks like I will be doing some serious cleaning tomorrow but no matter, it was an extraordinarily satisfying way to spend my early morning hours, and a very "Peace Corps" way to find some slight amusement in the foul circumstances in which I live. 

Vintage PC

June 30, 2013 

Dad, if you're reading this, you would be so very proud of your networking protege of a daughter. This weekend we celebrated Peace Corps' 50th Anniversary in Panamá, so to celebrate a bunch of RPCV's (Returned Peace Corps Volunteers) came back down to Panaland to take all of us broke Azuero volunteers out to lunch and drinks to give us a chance to chat and make connections to people who have returned from their lives in the Peace Corps to have successful careers. When we showed up, we didn't know exactly what to expect because we didn't know how many RPCV's would actually show up, if any but either way we were guaranteed a free meal, so we were buzzing with excitement. We got there only to find out there had been a miscommunication and the vintage volunteers were told to come at 1pm instead of 11 soooo we just hung about for a couple hours enjoying each other's company and catching up on some much needed volunteer gossip. One by one the RPCV's began to show up it seemed as if nearly all of them were from the same group from GROUP 15-17.... from the 1960's!!!! This was mind blowing to me. They were all cracking jokes with each other and goofing around as if no time had passed at all, it was a pretty magical thing to see, and it also confirmed that Peace Corps will provide you with some of the most lasting friendships you will ever make in your life. It was Awesome. For the first 45 minutes or so we mixed and mingled asking the vintage volunteers about their stories, what there service was like, what they've done since and how PC has changed their lives. Every single one of them is doing something impressive or did something impressive with their lives after Peace Corps. it was more than inspiring. Once that portion was done lunch was served and like a pack of ravenous animals the room went nearly silent as we shoved massive quantities of food into our mouths. For some reason even though we all eat exorbitant amounts of food and complain about the fact that most of us are gaining weight, any time there is free food available we eat like we've been starving for the last five months. 

After lunch we did a bunch of ice breaker activities to get to know one another better and then split into smaller groups to discuss what our ideal life plan would be after Peace Corps to see if there were any potential connections that could provide us with post pc assistance. For my first small group I chose the International Relations group and I am SO glad I did. The vintage PCV in our group had not only worked in the Foreign Service but had worked as a Professor at several universities and worked all over the world only to retire to do work in Senegal with USAID.... so basically exactly the kind of work I want to do. The man was more than impressive, speaking several languages and was so well connected I was a little intimidated by him. I mean for God's sake the man had arrived from Senegal that morning just to hang out with a bunch of crazy PCV's- who even does that‽‽ Most of them didn't have business cards but our Regional Leader promised to send out an e-mail with everyone's contact information. We did the networking thing for another hour or so and then we all meandered over to one of the local bar's for more networking and some adult beverages. This kind of just turned into an absurd event of PCV on RPCV drinking games and absolute lunacy. It was rad. 

Attack of the Alacrán

June 25, 2013 

So this wasn't actually as scary as it may seem. It also isn't much of a story... but for the sake of being in Peace Corps I must document every sort of bug encounter I come across. I woke up this morning to my dog barking like a maniac in my bed so I sit up ready to throw him across the room and turn on my flash light to see why he was freaking out and guess what I found in my bed..... SCORPIONS!!!! Woohooooo- did you notice that was plural? Yup there was a Mama scorpion with a bunch of little baby buggers on her back, so what did I do? I screamed, jumped out of my bed, ripped my mosquito net from my bed and searched around for something hard to whack the crap out of them. I settled on my heavy peace corps binder. I removed my sleeping bag slowly from my bed, placed my puppy outside and took my sheets carefully off my bed and dragged it to the front patio area, then took the binder and threw it down as hard as I could on top of the happy little family.... and then I jumped on the binder several times for good measure. When I lifted up the binder the majority of them were dead but some were still squirming a bit so I fumbled around in the semi-darkness for one of my abuela's machete's that she leaves sitting about and I took it and chopped up every single one of those suckers. It was something of a massacre really... and I felt a little queasy afterwards so rather than going back to the scene of the crime I took my dog on a walk around the neighborhood. When I came back I checked my phone to see what time it was and naturally it was only 3:20 in the morning so rather than going back to my bed I took a bath in my mosquito repellent and fell asleep in the hammock outside. I woke up the next morning to my abuela picking up her machete curiously and looking at the mess I had created to which she just gave me a warm toothless smile and said "buen hecho" (good job). Needless to say, I have never been more proud than I was at that moment. 

Welcome to the Jungle

June 23, 2013 

The weekend in David was absolute MADNESS. In the best way, of course. It was so good to see all of the people from the west side of the country whom I hadn't seen in over two months, or at least since swearing in. It was also Lindsay's birthday a volunteer from Group 70. The first night was just us ladies myself and my little group of lady friends, which was nice because it was a chance for us to catch up after a while without having to limit our discussion topics. One thing I am realizing in Peace Corps is that having friends with whom you can speak openly with is absolutely invaluable. I have probably spent more money on saldo (phone minutes) than anything else since being here. Even though I have a pretty good grasp on the Spanish language being limited to just speaking, and listening and breathing Spanish all the time can drive someone insane and exhaust the brain. So weekend trips like these are more therapeutic than anything else really. I won't go into the details of the craziness of the weekend but in sum it involved: street meat, getting kicked off the stage of the discoteca, and late nate pool swimming with all of the group 72 volunteers. 

Worst luck with dogs....

June 20, 2013

A bad day for a dog lover. My pup that was sick has now moved on to doggy heaven... I am sad, but for the last few weeks she was so sick that I am happy now that she is no longer suffering. Also, though this may seem like a more insensitive perspective, I also realized having two dogs on a Peace Corps Volunteer stipend is nearly impossible... so having just one other life to take care of other than my own seems like the better idea to me I'd have to say. Also unfortunately the mother of my pup also got sick and died within the day as well. I have no idea what this mosquillo actually is but it is a pretty vicious epidemic to the doggy world. So now I am left with my little Boludo who is getting bigger every single day I swear this dog is going to be huge and he's only two months old. 

Smells like mold....

June 17, 2013 

Literally. All of my clothes and shoes are moldy... it's repulsive. I don't really know what to do about it, I only have one pair of shoes left that aren't repulsive and naturally they aren't school appropriate so that's awesome. I think it would be a good idea to wash all of my clothes but then they are wet again, and then when I put them in the drawers they get moldy again soooo it's a dilemma... Anyone have any suggestions for how to avoid moldy clothing and shoes?? I can't so much avoid the rainy season and I don't have any way of closing the open squares that are my windows to avoid the rain and moisture coming into my room, so that is your challenge friends and family. On the other hand I can just embrace the fact that I am going to be disgusting looking and smelling for the rest of my two years here, but I'd rather not have to come to that. 

More Bad Luck with Dogs

May 30, 2013

So I come back from my lovely vacation to find out that not only is my pup more sick than she was but she was also bitten by a snake while I was gone. The vet gave her an antibiotic but they still don't know if she is going to make it, so I sad.  What is it with me and these puppies??? doesn't seem right. Oh and my pup's brother got the same illness she had and died within a day. Lucky for me my other little pup is still healthy and growing stronger every day. I think he suffered being stuck in a dark closet for the first few weeks of his life when he was living in my neighbor's house but he seems to be doing much better now. I need to make sure I get to the vet to get him all of his vaccines and injections to possibly avoid all this craziness that seems to be going on in the community. It's hard being a puppy parent.

signed, 

badluckwithdogs. 

VACATION!!!!!!

May 25, 2013 

Off to the beach for the weekend with the Gringo clan. THANK GOD. I know it's only been a month, but I have never looked forward to getting out of site this badly in my life, I think I just need some time away with my gringo pals. 

Originally this weekend was supposed to be just a girls weekend with myself, Erin, Keara, and Jessie but we decided to invite some of the local man folk as well. We have rented a four person cabaña right on the beach and it is only $10 per night per person, not too shabby. The weekend got started with a bit of a mess but improved tremendously as the days went on. I started off by buying the wrong bus tickets, I bought the tickets to Panama City instead of the tickets to Santa Clara, which are significantly cheaper. Then I checked my backpack while I was waiting for my friends Erin and Tyler to show up so that we could all leave the Chitre terminal together. As I was waiting for them to arrive the pavo shows up to say that the bus is leaving, and that I can either get on this bus or wait for the next one, so without thinking I tell him I'll get on the next one so that I could wait for my friends. I watch the bus leaving as Erin arrives and we greet each other like we haven't seen one another in years, though it had been just a week. We wait in line to get the tickets for the next bus and Tyler shows up exclaiming, "Wow, Melissa! You're just bringing your purse?? That's an impressive packing job!"..... OH Shit. I forgot to get my backpack off of the bus that was headed to Panama City.... whoops and then begins the freaking out. I run around like a crazy person seeing if they can call the bus driver to drop off my backpack at one of the stops along the way so I can pick it up there, the Pavo for the next bus can't get a hold of the bus driver so he tells me he'll keep trying to see if they will leave it at the halfway point in Penonome. FINALLY, after about a half hour of waiting and calling and sweating and freaking out he gets the driver on the phone and he says he'll drop it off with the terminal in Penonome and we can pick it up there on our way to Santa Clara. THANK GOD!!!! Not that it would have been the end of the world, I just would have gone naked to the beach for the entire weekend, and unshowered probably, though nothing of true value was in the bag, as far as I can remember. Once that was figured out I could begin to relax and enjoy my weekend, which we did to the max! 

We spent the weekend walking to rocks, grilling hot dogs on the beach, invading private areas, running around like crazy people, jammin with artisans and Rastafarians and having an amazing time catching up on each other's crazy lives in site so far. It is moments like these that you really begin to appreciate the time you have with your support systems and get to truly realize how valuable it is to have one another so close by. I don't know if there are any pictures from this weekend, though that might be for the best, I will check the other folks to see if they have any on their cameras. 

I might be seen on Panama's most wanted

May 20, 2013

Okay, not actually, please don't freak out. But really I might kill the entire third grade class. 

This is how the day went; I walk into the class and the whole class starts cheering, and I think to myself, awww this is so cute, they like me, they really like me... but THEN my counterpart walks into the room and the entire class starts boo-ing- WHAT THE EFF?? So inappropriate. This week is finals week before the trimester break and the only thing they had to practice for their final oral presentation was to recite the list of vocabulary words (granted, in my opinion this is the worst final exam format I have ever had the displeasure of observing). Needless to say NOT ONE student actually studied. Each one would get up in front of the class and just stare at my counterpart until she started egging them on giving them hints to what the words were, not effective. The worst part wasn't that they didn't study, or that I could strangle my counterpart for creating such a pointless and inadequate exam but listen to what the kids were doing whilst their peers were trying to present, they were: 

-glueing their hands together

-taking wet paint from the artwork and having paint fights

-wrestling

-punching, kicking smacking 

-screaming across the room

-throwing pens and bottles across the room 

-drawing on each other 

And all the while my counterpart does NOTHING‽‽‽ WHAT THE HELLL IS GOING ON????? I tried just taking deep breaths and sitting there trying to be quiet and not do anything except to give the occasional discerning mom "really?" look to the kids eyebrow raised and all, but all they would do is smile sheepishly and then continue to do what they were doing.... and then I went apeshit. 

Not really but I did ask my counterpart if I could say a few words at the end of class and she said I could. So this is what I said; "The behavior of today's class saddens me, I have never been in a classroom that was so poorly behaved, where there was no respect for the teachers or one another. If I ever see behavior like this again I will not be returning to this class because I do not want to spend my time helping a class that doesn't want to learn." Or something along those lines, I'm pretty sure the world went dark and I turned into the hulk because the class got silent. Then my counterpart asks the class, "You all don't want that do you?" and the majority of the class said NOOOOO, except for one little brat who said, "I don't care if she never comes back" (this was the little shit who was glueing her hands together) To which I replied, "I'm not here to be your friends, I am here to help your school and teachers, I would like to get along with everyone, but if not then that is fine with me, that is not my job." I said this all in Spanish, so I'm not sure how much of it got lost in translation, but I think you get the point. I also am not sure if that was the best way to handle it but I don't know if my counterpart would have ever done anything because she is so freaking passive. 

Lawd it was a rough day, but I got through the rest of it, and playing with kindergarten right after that class did help to improve my mood. Though I have got to say, today was the first day thus far in my Peace Corps experience that I actually doubted if I could handle my service, but then I realized that this is all part of the challenges I am going to face and that I am going to have to learn to take the good with the bad. 

***Also my apologies for the craziness of this rant but I just had to get it off my chest before I exploded. 

The Puppy Plague

So I don´t know what it is about the rainy season in Panama but it is causing a crazy outbreak of illness amongst all the dogs in Las Minas. My host mom is calling it Mosquillo, but that doesn´t really tell me much of anything. I think it has something to do with the crazy amount of flies and mosquitos that are infecting the dogs, but unfortunately one of my pups, the first one I was gifted seems to have come down with the illness. I´m not really sure what to do about it, she is so skinny and can´t keep food down and has got this awful infection around her eyes. I took her to the Agro-vet but he isn't a real veterinarian, so I'm not sure how much his opinion helped but he gave me some vitamins to give her strength and some pills to help her appetite. Hopefully it will work... we'll see. 

The Crowning of Miss Pedasi

May 18, 2013

Soooo you are all now in the presence of royalty! I, Melissa Starr Boudrye have been crowned Miss Queen Pedasi, you should all be honored. lolzzz 

SO here's how it happened: 

Myself, Erin, Erin's host sister Clau, her boyfriend Francis decided we needed a break from campo life and made the trek to Pedasi, a little hippie beach town a little bit outside of Las Tablas, Los Santos. Clau and her boyfriend used to live in the area so they got us an awesome deal on a room right in the middle of town, which was great because Erin and I both seem to be struggling with our Peace Corps budgeting... 

After a HUGE dinner of Chinese food we decided to take a nap to gear up for our wild night on the town. Once we were refreshed and looking semi decent we went into the town to a local bar owned by a bunch of Argentinians (so obviously I felt right at home). Clau told us that there was a talent contest that night and that the girl who won would get a free margarita, so I figured I might as well sign up, I could sing a little diddy and at least have fun being spontaneous for a night. Turns out it was NOT a talent contest but a pretty legit competition to be crowned Miss Pedasi.... whoops. 

The first portion was a Latin dance competition so I BS'd it as best I could but I'm going to be honest I didn't know what the hell I was doing, there was one other gringa in the competition so she and I just danced together laughing like a bunch of lunatics as we made absolute fools out of ourselves. 

The Second Portion was a runway walk... again what the hell?? I kicked off my broken cutaras (sandals sp?) and walked down the runway trying not to trip or burst out laughing again, my friends and some other PC volunteers who showed up at the bar were having a laugh riot taking pictures of all of us, though I seemed to be the only one who wasn't taking it seriously. 

After the second round they eliminated a good number of the girls until there were just four of us left.... and who'd a thunk I would be in the top four...not me. Then came the third round the QUESTIONNAIRE, basically an opportunity for the local guys to ask us ladies a bunch of mildly inappropriate questions in Spanish, and a perfect time for me to once again make a fool out of myself.  

After the third round came the final judgement and it was down to just the four of us ladies; myself, the other gringa, a local, and a stunningly beautiful Colombian. I had no expectations for this portion as I was standing there sweating and looking mildly shabby in the only nice-ish clothes I brought with me and I was standing there looking a fool next to these stunningly beautiful girls dressed to the nine's in their heels and their skin tight club dresses, basically I figured there would be prizes First through third and then one of us would just receive a gracious thank you for participating. The other gringa got called up first and she received a bouquet of flowers and a sash, then the local girl got called up and received a bouquet and a sash, then it was down to the Colombian and myself. So naturally I thought to myself, well shit she is going to get the first prize and then they will thank me for my participation and I will walk away mildly ashamed. So I tuned out when they gave the Colombian her bouquet of flowers and a sash and then I received my sash with no flowers and sat down with my friends after a semi-awkward curtsey to the audience. 

BUT then the owner came up to me and handed me an envelope with $40 and with a smile said, "Here is your prize Reina of Pedasi"..... I stood there stunned WTF???? Then my friends bust out laughing, "YOU WON YOU STUPID IDIOT"..... whoops, I just assumed that I didn't win because I didn't get any flowers, but it turns out I got cash instead- HOLLAAAAAA. So there ya have it folks I am royalty get on my level. :) 

AGENCY DAY

May 16, 2013

Today was agency day, the day that the Herrera province got the opportunity to meet the important people of the Ministry of Education MEDUCA, it was also a chance for all of our province to meet one another since most of our group 72 hasn't met any of the previous groups. It was also the first day that Chitre got rain- so walking in heels was a thrill and a half. 

Once we all got there we played a bunch of ice breaker games, which were fun and actually pretty effective- Way to go Regional Leaders! Then we broke up into our program departments, Teaching English, and Community Environmental Conservation and explored more of our city as well as met every person who works in the MEDUCA Herrera office. 

It was a little intimidating meeting most of those people especially since we all looked like a bunch of ragamuffins with our soaking wet hair and already worn out "fancy" clothes, but I think we still made a good first impression... eh? 

Then for the fun part all of us crazy gringos went out to a tipico bar and danced like a bunch of lunatics while receiving free beers from locals, and it was also a time to actually get to know the other volunteers, who are AMAZING and crazy and wonderful just like our group and so I have continue to fall more and more in love with my province.  

Broken Promises

May 14, 2013 

I made a promise to myself never to eat spam....I guess promises were made to be broken. 

Real talk though, what is with Panamanian's obsession with spam?? It tastes like a combination of soap and what I'd imagine cat food tastes like, not that I've ever tried it, but still. Thank GOD for the tons of tabasco sauce that the fam sent me otherwise I would have been struggling a lot more than I did. **BTW I need more of the stuff, you can't find it here unless I go to Panama City and as much as I love it, it is not worth a $12 bus ride and the inflated prices I'm bound to find at Reba Smith Grocery. 

Pasear in Cheppo

Sunday May 12, 2013

Today was a good day. We had been planning all weekend (my host fam and I) to go up to the mountains in Chepo and spend some time. I thought we were going to just hang out in a house or at a finca somewhere but we decided an adventure would be a better use of our time. We drove the hour up to the top of the mountain in a back of a pick up truck, to say it was breathtaking would be an understatement; it literally took my breath away. Imagine being on an amusement ride with no safety buckle, and with a view of rolling mountains and countryside like something out of one of The Lord of the Rings novels. It was surreal. Once we arrived to the top of one of the mountains and the road ended we got out and started walking, not really having any idea where we were going. My host cousin Viki had heard there was a river somewhere around there so we started asking people and started hiking. We didn't really have an idea how long the hike would be so we were all dressed inappropriately and naturally my host sister Melissa brought her chihuahua, so we were a spectacle. We ended up hiking for about three hours up and down these incredibly brutal hills that were just dirt and rocks, we spent most of the time slipping and trying to keep ourselves balanced enough not to go tumbling all the way down. 

Once at the top of one of the hills we came across a house and there were a bunch of children playing outside we asked them if they knew where the river was and they said they would show us something even better so we continued on our adventure for another 45 minutes or so down into the jungle and through a forest of coffee plants and had to shimmy on this killer ledge until we arrived at one of the most beautiful waterfalls I have ever seen in my life. It was such a secluded area and it was clear that it wasn't a very populated area for the lack of  trash and general human destruction. The boys said hardly anyone knows that the place exists except for those who live in the area and use the little watering hole as a bathing grounds. Only myself and Generino know how to swim so we jumped right in to try and attempt to cool off after a consistent 4 hours of sweating. Our little guides showed no fear and climbed up to one of the higher rocks of the waterfall and dove right in, it was wild. 

I am going to regress into cheesiness and just say I felt one with nature for maybe the first time in my life it was incredible. Even though my host mom and sister and cousin were struggling a bit, my little students who came with us and their dad (our neighbor) had loads of stored up energy left, I don't know how they did it, my legs were shaking with exhaustion where as they were still running around and climbing up rocks and having fits of giggling. It was an amazing way to spend the day and even though it was exhausting I felt so accomplished once we finished. 

I can't wait to do it again, but I think I'll have to find someone else to come with me because my family has made it clear that they have absolutely no intention of ever doing that again. 

Pics to come once I have strong enough interwebs!! 

Chau!